Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are!

OMG, did you see that “People” magazine cover on Facebook recently that Taylor Lautner came out??? Gay men across the world swooned and tween girls and some of their mothers cried, “no way” or “all the good ones are either gay or married”. Guess what? It was fake.

And now, the mainstream media is beginning to buzz that Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow is gay. Men across the country are saying “no way”.

However, these rumors or accusations are based on stereotypes that the gay community have dealt with forever. In several interviews, Tebow appears limp-wristed and talks with a lisp. Seriously, this doesn’t make him gay and not all gay men are that way. And, here’s another shocker. In a gay relationship, one doesn’t pretend to be the woman!

I don’t know if Tebow is gay and I really don’t care. However, if he is gay, he’d better quickly change his anti-gay public stance.

This brings me around to the topic I want to talk about today. Should public figures be “outed” as gay, should they “come out” on their own, or be allowed to “stay in the closet”?

Sadly, I believe if Lautner was gay and he came out, it would close doors for him in the entertainment business. There are still many homophobes running the movie, television, and music business.

Look at how hard “straight” actors like Tom Cruise and John Travolta have fought allegations that they are gay. They both still have very successful acting careers, but what if either of them one day came out as a gay man. Would it close doors at this point in their career? That’s hard to say because some could argue it wasn’t homophobia, they were just getting older and their box office returns were already diminishing. That’s bull because Cruise’s latest movie, “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” is approaching one-half billion (that’s with a “B”) dollars in worldwide box office receipts.

I’m really torn about public figures being forced out of the closet. I know that they could be great role models if they came out, but their careers could be the price that they would pay for it.

Cruise and Travolta are not alone. For years, people have speculated and harassed Jodie Foster, Anderson Cooper, and Oprah Winfrey about coming out and admitting they are gay.

On the other hand, I would not hesitate to “out” politicians, church leaders, or celebrities that take anti-gay stances in public. Sometimes it’s the ones that scream the loudest that have something to hide. (Oh, and while I’m at it, why is it that it’s usually the ugliest and most disgusting people that think gay people are making a move on them?) Sorry to deviate. 🙂

Larry Craig, a Republican U.S. Senator from Idaho, has a long record of voting for anti-gay measures and legislation. I had no compassion for him on June 11, 2007, when he was arrested for “lewd conduct” and accused of soliciting an undercover police officer for sex at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

A smile crossed my face that day and in November 2006 when Ted Haggard, the pastor and founder of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado, resigned from his leadership position with the church. After working for years on anti-gay amendments, a male escort claimed that Haggard had paid him for sex for three years. Of course, Haggard denied that he was gay. However, just last year, Haggard admitted that he was bisexual.

These are people that spewed hate and intolerance against gay people and they were being hypocritical.

In the future, if there was strong evidence that one of Michele Bachmann’s five children, or Rick Santorum’s seven children, or Rick Perry’s two kids were gay, I would applaud them being outed because of the vile that their parents spew against gays.

Before you say “they’re only kids” or “they can’t help what their parents do”, think of the turmoil that those kids have been subjected to by hearing their parents talk about how awful gay people are. Outing them would open up avenues of love and understanding, and not hate.

Outing people is a gray area. It can cause harm, but it can also do good.

Neil Patrick Harris and Ricky Martin are two prime examples. They both chose to come out as gay men on their own terms after years of rumors about their private lives.

If you know someone that may be gay, don’t force the issue. Just let them know that you’re a friend and you’re there for them.

I’ve never been “in the closet” to come “out”. Thus, “People” magazine never came calling for me to do a cover story. However, if “Instinct”, “Out”, or “The Advocate” ever wants to do a story on me, I’m game. Editors, take note.

I’ll end this on a personal story. Back in Youngstown, Ohio, in the late 1990s, I was working as the weekend meteorologist and some of straight men at the station were curious if I was gay. One woman summed it up best. She said, “It doesn’t matter to me, I don’t want to sleep with him.”


16 responses to this post.

  1. I do not feel they should be forced to admit if they are gay or not……There is too much discrimiantion in this world. A person’s preference should not be judged by others. I personally find people that are able to “come out” bigger and better than most. The people that are judging are probably in need of checking out their own backyard……


    • Megan,

      Thanks for checking out my blog and letting me know how you feel.

      It’s easier in this world to judge and be scared of something instead of educating yourself.

      Have a great day and thank you for your friendship.



  2. Why have american’s made what we all do in our bedrooms their business? I am not Gay but I do not fill out any application, weather it be for a credit card, job, or volunteer,do they ask my sexual preferance.So why have American’s made it a big deal? You receive benefits on your job for your spouse,so if Gay marriage is allowed, then what is the issue.The person you married is your spouse,no matter what sex they are.People have children of both sex’s and they get to have benefits for them.This is 2012, being GAY IS NOT A NEW ISSUE. wAKE up America. If i am married and I choose to have sex a certain way in my own home, Are you going to start questioning me about that too. I think not. So America, drop the Gay issue.It is there and is not going away.WAKE UP!!!!


    • Mary Jo,

      Thank you for reading and commenting.

      Yes, it’s a fact of life and it isn’t going away. My philosophy is that I will not be quiet about it until it become a point where we are all equal and it should be a non-topic. The bottom line is that we are all equal and we need to face that and really focus on things that are pressing like jobs, the economy, and people starving and homeless.

      Have a great day!



  3. Posted by KathyMarkhamMcCoy on January 15, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    I have a friend who happens to be gay whom I have known for over 35 years. He lived with me off & on for several years, & most of the neighbors speculated on whether we were a “couple”. He assumed that I had told them all that he is gay, & I said “That’s not my news to tell, it’s not my place to tell your business”. He really respected that, though he says he wouldn’t have cared if I did “out” him. When my former father-in-law passed away, we were writing the obit for the paper. Naturally we wanted to list the partner of one of his sons who happens to be gay, but we checked first with them to make sure they wouldn’t mind. Of course they weren’t in the public eye.

    The person who came to mind for me when you were pondering if careers would be hurt by an “outing” was Barry Manilow. Though much more open about his sexuality in certain circles, I doubt if he will ever make an “announcement”. His persona is one of romance, sexuality & making the young girls cry…and as idiotic as it is (gee, would his voice sound any different?) he would probably lose fans. Remember Clay Aiken & the protests from the “righteous” who condemned him for being gay after his “Claymates” pledged undying love? And rumors have circled for years about “my” NASCAR driver Dale Jr. I really don’t care about his sexuality, I just wish he’d win a race once in a while!

    In cases of both public and political figures, the only time I would be comfortable with someone outing them is if they spew homophobic rhetoric or pontificate on the “evils” of homosexuality (such as Haggard). BTW, I knew a couple who attended his church when they lived in Co. Springs, & they thought he was hateful.

    Thanks for another thought-provoking article, Anthony. And on a lighter note, one of my friends gave me a pin once that said “Why are all the good men either gay, married or broke?” 🙂


    • Kathy,

      I always enjoy your insight into the gay community.

      Yes, Barry Manilow came to mind when I was writing this. Also, Liberace, Richard Simmons, and Rock Hudson.

      Have a great day!



  4. Posted by Mikey99 on January 16, 2012 at 1:05 am

    Very insightful. I really don’t care if a person is gay, straight, or somewhere in between. The “lamestream” media apparently needs to label folks. I’m straight, but I won’t say that I’ve never been attracted to other men.

    Love is love – period.


  5. Posted by Michelle Smith on January 16, 2012 at 1:33 am

    Thank you for a very good blog on an important subject. I always taught my children to love everyone, regardless of their color, sex, race, or sexual preference. People never walk up to me and ask me if I am heterosexual, so why should they wonder if I am homosexual. I think a person’s sexual preference is their own business and shouldn’t even be a factor on whether I want to be their friend – or visa versa. Friendship is deeper than that and is based on genuine love and friendship. I look forward to the day when people don’t base their opinions or relationships on a persons sexuality (or race, color, religion, etc.). Thanks for sharing! Michelle


    • Michelle,

      Excellent philosophy on life.

      I love when people say, “when did you know you were gay”? I love the look on their face when I say, “when did you know you were straight”. 🙂

      Thank you for reading and for taking the time to post.



  6. Posted by Larry on January 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    The old me was very anti gay but since i was about 25 i have changed to who cares anymore,, i work with gay guys in my line of work and it is all good, I don’t think it is right to “OUT” someone because i believe in everyone’s right to privacy


  7. Posted by Darla Beach on January 17, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    I really feel that the only time it is a person’s business about someone else’s sexuality is when you are sleeping with them!
    On the other hand, I really love your advocacy for equal rights. I had really hoped that our country was over this years ago. All these politicians wanting to go backwards just infuriates me.
    I would like to relate to you a funny story from your days in Youngstown. My husband, Doug, was approached by someone at a Christmas party and scolded for leaving me alone. He looked over, saw me talking to you and said, “Are you kidding? Darla has a Scotch in one hand, a plate of shrimp in the other, and she’s talking to a gay man. She’s in heaven!” (kind of tongue in cheek)
    Keep doing what you’re doing Anthony, I am proud of you!


    • Darla,

      That’s awesome. Thank you for sharing that story. I remember that party very well. 🙂

      I truly believe that the country is heading in the right direction. However, politicians play the gay card when they really don’t have anything else to bring to the table. We’re getting there not only with people like me letting people know I live my life pretty much the way they do, but mostly with open-minded and intelligent people like you. Thank you!

      I always enjoyed working with Doug. I’m glad I’m not at WYTV anymore, but there are some great people like the two of you that I miss.

      Take care, thanks for being my friend, and for posting.



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