Peeps’ Movie Reviews: “Joyful Noise”, “Rampart”, & “eCupid”

While I eagerly await the arrival of  ‘Rock of Ages” (June 15), “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” (June 22), and “Magic Mike” (June 29) in theaters, we’ve watched a few movies at home that I’m reviewing today.  But, here’s a bonus.  The first music video released from “Rock of Ages” , Mary J. Blige with “Any Way You Want It”.

“JOYFUL NOISE”

This is a musical comedy starring Dolly Parton, Queen Latifah, and Broadway’s “Newsies” sensation and hottie Jeremy Jordan.

Basically, it’s “Glee” set in a Georgia church instead of an Ohio high school complete with a regional singing competition and Nationals!  And, like “Glee”, the Georgia church is made up of outcasts that just want to win.

The January release earned $30.9 million in box office returns in the United States, which means it barely made its money back.

The movie was very predictable with some funny lines and the acting was decent.

I especially liked the smackdown in the restaurant between Dolly’s character, G. G. Sparrow, and Queen Latifah’s Vi Rose Hill.  Nothing was off-limits from excessive plastic surgery, age, and weight.  Some of my favorite lines were “Quit it with those nails; Edward Scissorhands.”  “Maybe you were, five procedures ago!” “You’re so old, you read the Bible to reminisce.”  However, my favorite line was “God didn’t make plastic surgeons so they could starve”.  Notice, I didn’t tell you who said what to give it away.  I don’t like spoilers. 🙂

I gave the movie one grade higher than I originally planned on because of the final musical number!  It was fantastic.  You know it’s over the top incredible when Dolly Parton sings my favorite Chris Brown song, “Forever”.

GRADE:  B-

“RAMPART”

The always amazing Woody Harrelson stars as a dirty cop in this gritty police drama that takes place during the Rampart scandal in Los Angeles in the 1990s.

The movie also stars Cynthia Nixon, Anne Heche, Robin Wright, Ice Cube, and Sigourney Weaver.

Harrelson’s Dave Brown is such a bad person and corrupt cop that it made it very hard to even have any good feelings for the man.  But, watching Harrelson do his acting magic was worth the rental alone.  Well, actually, that’s about the only reason to watch it.

The movie felt very disjointed and lost, like Dave Brown.

It only had limited release in theaters and made less than one million dollars and it will probably find a much better fit on DVD for people to watch at home.

GRADE:  C  (Harrelson saves it from a “D”)

“eCupid”

This is straight to DVD gay romantic comedy (since most gay-oriented movies are straight to DVD or have very, very limited mainstream theatrical exposure).

Charming Marshall is turning 30 years old and is having a mid-life crisis.  You might say that’s a little too young for that, but he’ll tell you that “I’m gay, 30 is the new 40!”

Not only that, he’s unhappy at work and at home since his boyfriend of seven years is very distant.  So, while sitting up late one night, he downloads an app on his computer called “eCupid”.  The computer crashes before installation is complete and he goes to bed.  However, the application goes through and the movie becomes a magical adventure or a series of misadventures in starting a new life.

Both leads, Houston Rhines and Noah Shuffman, are attractive men that you want to root for to find love and happiness.  The movie even features 1980s sex symbol, Morgan Fairchild, in a small role.

My sister, Tammy, even watched the movie “On Demand” without us telling her about it and liked it.

GRADE:  B

Anthony

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