Your Apology Really Doesn’t Mean That Much to Me

I try very hard not to say anything that I will have to apologize for.  In a heated discussion or argument, we often say mean and hurtful things and while you can say you’re sorry, the words you said still sting.  However, no matter how mad I get, there are certain words that would never spew from my mouth.  I would never use the “N-word” or these “F-words”, “fag” or “faggot”.  I wanted to clarify there because I could very well use the other four-lettered “f-word”.  I know!  What a potty mouth!


Remember Pastor Worley from that North Carolina church that suggested putting gays and lesbians behind an electric fence and drop them some food in and eventually they would die out?  Well, he is a vile and disgusting man.  The only thing about him that I would remotely find human about his “inhumane” comments is the fact that he doesn’t disgrace the LGBT community with an apology.  Or, at least, I haven’t seen one if he has apologized.  (I did a Google search and there was a post that teased a “so-called” apology, but it had been deleted and wouldn’t open!)

While the church is a good place to get people riled up against the “gays”, another place that is pretty homophobic and one that would seem so much more accepting and sympathetic to its fellow gay men and lesbians is Hollywood and the entertainment business.



Remember back in October of 2006 when “Grey’s Anatomy” actor Isaiah Washington (Dr. Preston Burke) got into a scuffle with fellow actor Patrick Dempsey (Dr. Derek Shepherd, “McDreamy”).  Not only did this argument reportedly end with Washington grabbing Dempsey by the throat, but he outed another actor on the series by shouting, “I’m not your little faggot like [T.R. Knight].”

In the damage-control press junket afterwards, Washington admitted to saying “a lot of things I’m not really proud of.”   Washington went on, “”I said several bad words (to Dempsey).  There’s no way you’re going to treat me like the B-word, the P-word or the F-word.”

In his defense, Washington claims that the “f-word” was only used as “somebody who is being weak” and was not meant as an anti-gay slur and said he never directed the word to Knight who came out as gay after the incident.

Washington has since said, “”I am not homophobic – in no way, shape or form.”


This whole sordid affair resurfaced three months later at the Golden Globe awards when Washington claimed he never called Knight a “faggot”, yet it was heard by many people.  Washington’s contract for the series was not renewed in the summer of 2007.


Last summer at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee, comedian and “30 Rock” star Tracy Morgan, while doing his “funny” comedy routine, went on a rant that being gay is a choice because God doesn’t make mistakes.


To get laughs, allegedly, Morgan spewed that his son “better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I’ll pull out a knife and stab that little n-gger to death.”

Kevin Rogers, who described himself as a big fan of Morgan’s, was in the audience that night and was shocked and appalled at the comedian and wrote on his Facebook page, “Why I No Longer ‘Like’  Tracy Morgan – A Must Read”.

Rogers posted this:  “”I have very thick skin when it comes to humor; I can dish and I can take.  What I can’t take is when Mr. Morgan took it upon himself to mention about how he feels all this gay shit was crazy and that women are a gift from God and that ‘Born this Way’ is bulls-it, gay is a choice, and the reason he knows this is exactly because ‘God don’t make no mistakes’ (referring to God not making someone gay cause that would be a mistake).  He said that there is no way a woman could love and have sexual desire for another woman, that’s just a woman pretending because she hates a f–king man.  He took time to visit the bullshit of this bullying stuff and informed us that the gays needed to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying.”

Rogers continued is his post about the comedian, “He said if his son that was gay he better come home and talk to him like a man and not [he mimicked a gay, high pitched voice] or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N (one word I refuse to use) to death. …  Tracy then said he didn’t f–king care if he pissed off some gays, because if they can take a f–king d-ck up their a–… they can take a f–king joke.”  And, Rogers concludes that Morgan “was truly filled with some hate towards us.”

Of course, Morgan and his handlers got to work to control the damage with this statement, “I want to apologize to my fans and the gay & lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville. I’m not a hateful person and don’t condone any kind of violence against others. While I am an equal opportunity jokester, and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context.”


Morgan went so far as to meet Rogers in Nashville in a meeting by GLAAD, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

The bottom line is that I don’t personally know Washington or Morgan.  I don’t know what they “really” think of gay people.  I know that when Washington gets mad, he calls people “faggot”.  I know that Morgan thinks it’s funny to mock gay people and joke about killing them.  Real funny!  I’m still laughing. — not!

I’m sure if someone watching the news when I’m doing the weather makes a derogatory comment to their buddy about me, and not my performance, I’d bet that he or she really means it.

I know as kids we learned that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.  That may be true for some, but most of us have feelings and hateful words and rhetoric sting.  Maybe these people should really have had their mouths washed out with soap as kids!



10 responses to this post.

  1. Thought provoking post Anthony..words do hurt and I personally don’t find 75% of most hollywood funny types to be funny at all. And those words are certainly hurtful. The world would be a more pleaseant and healing place if folks would just THINK before they open their mouths to say something.. and whats also sad is that so many folks like that kind of ‘humor’. Great Post!



  2. The sad fact is that people will always mock others who are not “just like them”. I truly believe people do it from ignorance and perhaps some inner inadequacy. I’m not making excuses for people…at all. I loved my brother with all my heart, and miss him daily since his passing in April. But he loved to hurl the “fat cow” term at me when we were younger, and it did do some lasting psychological damage to me. Words have power, and you are absolutely right, contrary to the “sticks and stones” rhyme from our childhoods, words can and do hurt. People should be mindful of what they say. People in the public eye, more-so because their words can influence. Until people learn to accept that every person is different, every person has their own beliefs, their own souls, and their own value… will continue. Kindness and understanding of differences seem to be fading in our society when it should be growing. Ignorance and narrow-minded bigotry should have no place in our society. Sadly, it seems entrenched. My own world-view comes down to “do what you want, love who you love, try not to hurt anyone with words or actions”. Of course, I’m not such a good person that I don’t react to insults, or lash out in anger, there are limits. Hell…….I’m not perfect, just ask anyone who knows me!
    Also…..personally, I’ve always enjoyed your weather forecasting. I took meteorology at Black Hawk when Neil Kastor taught and found it fascinating. I have always thought your forecasts were informative, sometimes humorous, and well done with a warm personality. Somehow, while watching, it never once crossed my mind to wonder what your sexuality was. I’m sure I’m not alone. Don’t let others drag you down, just keep doing your thing!


    • Jenna,

      Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for responding.

      I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your brother and, more so, about the hateful things he said to you.

      I have developed a thick skin in my lifetime, so it really takes a lot before I let words hurt me.

      Thank you for the kind words about my presentation. I love what I do and I hope it shows. I’m glad you took the weather course with Neil. I really miss him.

      Take care of yourself and keep in touch.



  3. Posted by Cinchy on June 7, 2012 at 9:27 am

    I ‘use’ to like Tracy Morgan.
    All I can say is how sad for him.


  4. Posted by Tammy Ridpath on June 11, 2013 at 7:49 am

    As African Americans, those two certainly know the power of some words. It’s a shame how some people need to insult others. It’s their own insecurities I believe.


  5. Tammy,

    You would think that!



  6. Posted by Terri on June 11, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Great comments. Great writing. Proud of you.


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