They Said What??? — Dolly Parton, Lil Wayne, a Local Kristen Stewart, & DeadMau5

JIM FLETCHLEY, OHIO RESIDENT

(in a letter to the Findlay, Ohio, newspaper “The Courier” after he read that “the Ohio buckeye is polygamo-monoecious, bearing both bisexual and male flowers.”):  “The buckeye is our state tree and most of us gladly wear the nickname, “buckeyes.” But it is shameful and unacceptable that a bisexual tree should represent us! We are flaunting the Holy Bible!”

KRISTEN STEWART, BAR MANAGER OF THE UNIVERSITY CLUB, IN MOLINE, ILLINOIS

(to a gay woman calling her business to ask about having a reception there):  “I am a biblical Christian and I do not believe in homosexual marriage, that’s correct. And because marriage is a covenant that God created for man and woman, as a biblical Christian, I cannot help them into or celebrate that sin.”

ALAN BALL, CREATOR OF “TRUE BLOOD”

(on how Republican presidential candidates gave him the idea for season five):  “For me the jumping-off point was watching the Republican primaries, watching Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and asking what would it be like  to have a theocracy in America – which is way more terrifying than any fictional monster could ever be.  Our jumping-off point was ‘OK, what is a vampire theocracy?’ You don’t really see vampires being religious creatures. They are excluded from God. But what if there was  a vampire bible? A religion? Theocracy? How would that impact our human  characters, or vampire characters?  I haven’t really seen that before.”

MORE ALAN BALL

(on Santorum’s influence):  “What’s terrifying is how many people agree with him.”

DEADMAU5, ELECTRONIC DANCE ARTIST

(still bashing Madonna over her “Molly” reference at the Ultra Music Festival in Miami this past March):   “You want to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ and ‘funky grandma’? Fine. It’s not my place to say you’re irrelevant. If you’re gonna come into my world, at least do it with a little more dignity. I understand she has millions more fans, and is way more successful than I’ll ever be. But it’s like talking about slavery at a f—ing blues concert. It’s inappropriate.”

COUNTRY SUPERSTAR DOLLY PARTON

(about Madonna exposing her breast recently in Turkey):  “I’m not one to criticize how other people do their work. I’ve always showed mine off, just not completely. I just got to let mine speak for themselves.  I think everybody has their own way of doing it. I guess shock value is good for some people and people expect Madonna to do what Madonna does. Same with Lady Gaga. They’re out there for that shock value and it’s worked for them.”

MORE DOLLY

(on duets):  “I’m open for anything. Nobody has asked me to do it, I haven’t pursued them. You never say never, it’s not something I’m going after. I think we’re all pretty different, Madonna and Lady Gaga,” she mused. “We’re all our own individual people, all of us outrageous, but whether than will come together – it might just be overkill!”

LADY GAGA

(an MRI concludes that she’s ok after being hit in the face by a pole performing “Judas”):  “Went for an MRI.  No harm from the concussion but it appears my brain is just water and a large floating jellyfish.”

LIL WAYNE

(after pulling Nicki Minaj from Hot 97’s “Summer Jam” concert after a DJ dissed her):  “That’s a female; first and foremost Nicki Minaj is a female. I don’t know what anyone else believes, but I believe females deserve the ultimate respect at all times no matter, when or where or how.”

NAKA NATHANIEL, FORMER EAGLE SCOUT

(on the Boy Scouts of America’s ban on gay scouts and LGBT leaders):  “The Boy Scouts are supposed to stand for what’s right and what’s just. They haven’t done that for the past decade. Worse, there haven’t been enough Eagle Scouts, including me, who have stood up for what we learned in Scouting. That’s not Scouting’s failure. That’s our failure as individuals. Scouting taught us to welcome the outcasts and the disenfranchised. Scouting taught us to do what is right. Scouting implored us to do what is just and decry what is unjust.  With its anti-gay policies, Scouting is wrong and Scouting is unjust.”

Anthony

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