Posts Tagged ‘anorexia nervosa’

Daily Struggle Through Thick and Thin

It’s summer when you want to look your best if you’re heading to the pool or the beaches.  Those few pounds you packed on during the holidays and the winter are harder to lose than to gain.

It’s even more of a challenge when you’re a recovering food addict.

Over the years, I’ve written several times about eating disorders from Karen Carpenter’s anorexia nervosa to my own battle with bulimia.

eating-disorder

I wrote, “In early 1995, I was down to 116 pounds and I thought I was fat… I’m still obsessed with weight gains and losses, eating too much, and fighting the urge to binge and purge.”

Another time I shared, “… I fight the food demon of overeating every day.  A few pounds to the average person is a huge burden, a catalyst for insecurity, and a path for destruction to a food addict.”

While I was a practicing bulimic for nine years from 1986-1995, I got my act together for more than two decades.

Sadly, I fell off the wagon this past winter.  Abrupt changes in my life were just too much to handle and I found solace in binging and purging.  After months of relentless walking on the treadmill and purging all that I’d eat, I lost 20 pounds the wrong way.

I’m happy to say that I’m back on the wagon again — almost three months now!  I’m eating healthy, exercising, and gaining a few months and I’m okay with it.

Ironically, I got back on the wagon on the day I packed my truck to move to Panama City, Florida.  My celebratory meal for the renewed fight was Osaka Buffet in Moline!

Osaka

So, what prompted me to share this failure and my renewed effort to start the next two decades of a healthy eating lifestyle?  A new Netflix movie and “Rolling Stone” magazine.

I watched “To The Bone” about a 20-year-old woman’s struggle with anorexia that was not only threatening to kill her, but it was also tearing her family apart.

The movie was honest and it accurately covered the “tricks” that people struggling with eating disorders perfect on a daily basis.

And, it earned points with me for featuring a young man dealing with anorexia since most people associate the disorder with girls and women.

It’s estimated that boys and men now make up about 25% of those with eating disorders.

Also, I was reading an old issue of “Rolling Stone” and the feature was on actress Melissa McCarthy (“Bridesmaids”, “Spy” and “Mike & Molly”).

Melissa

She told the magazine that she often wished she was taller, prettier, and thinner.

One night she was looking at the IMDB message board and saw an anonymous message from Ohio at 3:43 a.m. calling her a “fat pig” and hoping “she drops dead of a heart attack in front of her children.”

McCarthy told the magazine, “all the air left my lungs.  Like, wait a minute.  My kids?  Like who –?  What kind of ass?  I kind of wanted to go to Ohio and just be like, ‘Hey, I have two girls, I do by best, and you hope I die in front of them?  Like, what the f*ck?  I mean, you can hate my movies, find me boring or over-the-top, whatever it is.  But when you move into that realm of the world…”

Melissa, you’re a beautiful, funny woman!  If you lose weight, I’m thrilled for you.  If you don’t, I know you’ll be happy with your life and your wonderful family.

Through thick and thin, when we see someone that may look too skinny or overweight, maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge them on their appearance.  We really don’t know the struggles that they may be going through in their lives.

If you or someone you know is fighting anorexia and/or bulimia, please contact the National Eating Disorders Association at 1-800-931-2237 or check out their website, http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

Anthony

Advertisements

When I Get To Heaven

Heaven.

It’s something we think about and many of us almost instinctively think of hell.  Well, to hell with that, I want to talk about heaven today.

There’s Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” (which was re-made by DJ Sammy), “Heaven Is A Place On Earth”, “Heaven’s Just A Sin Away”, “Stairway To Heaven”, “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”, “One Night In Heaven”, “Tears In Heaven” and many more songs with “heaven” in the title.

Yes, I’m getting older, but I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about mortality.  My parents died early — my mother was 47 and my father was 55.  I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t cross my mind.  However, my latest physical showed that I was healthy and I feel good for my age.

Heaven

But, I know one day I’ll come to those pearly gates and I’ll be welcomed in with open arms.  Since we really don’t know what heaven is like, how we see it is subjective.

When the time comes, I’ll miss those that I leave behind here on Earth.  However, I already know what I’ll do when I get there.

Animals Heaven

It brings me such joy almost four years after my beloved golden retriever, ABBA, left us on Earth to know she’ll be there smiling and happily greeting me.

ABBAFashionShowJan2012

October 2011

October 2011

04012011 ABBA Anthony
If she’s napping when I make my entrance, I wonder what her thumping tail on the clouds will sound like when she knows I’ve entered heaven.  I hope it still sounds like her tail thumping on the hardwood floors in life.  That brought me such joy to come home and hear that welcoming sound.  Upon hearing that, any problems I had that day just melted away.

Since heaven is peaceful, I know that Miss ABBA and my chow chow, Keshia, (1986-1998), are friends.

Keshia 001 Keshia 002

Their demeanor was very different.  ABBA loved everyone (she was a golden) and Keshia was very much a one-person dog.  She showered me with love, but was slow to warm to others.

And, it would be great to see our family dog, Cricket, again.  We had her through much of my childhood in the 1970s.  She died in 1982, my senior year in high school.

After I shower Miss ABBA with love and reacquaint myself with Keshia and Cricket, I can’t wait to see my mother and let all the years, tears, and sadness since November 1990 just fade away.

Dessie Birthday 1989

I won’t have to give her all of the details of my successes and failures and the ups and downs in my life.  She already knows all of that because she’s been looking over me and my sister, Tammy, now for 25 years.

Dessie 1990

It’ll be so nice to see my grandparents, John Henry and Helen Peoples, again.

HelenJohn Henry

I was lucky to have my grandmother Helen around until I turned 29, but my grandfather, John Henry, was taken away from us in early 1978, when I was only 13.

While I’ll never forget his last Christmas as he was dying from colon cancer, it was remarkable how he stayed in good spirits.

I’ll always cherish the weekends we spent together at Kentucky Lake camping out and fishing.  Also, all of the memories of just piddling around in the back yard and in his work garage will remain vividly clear in my mind.  He made me feel loved and appreciated.

I never really liked the taste of beer too much.  But, as a kid, it was so cool that he would let me lick the suds off his beer cans when he’d open them.  Maybe it’s because of the suds that I’ve now moved on to champagne, wine, and vodka as an adult. 🙂

I can’t wait to say “thank you” and let him know how much I idolized him.  I know, as a kid, I never told him.

There was talk that I was almost named after my father.  I’m grateful that I wasn’t.  However, it would have been an honor to have been a “John Henry”!

Dessie-Hollie-Anthony -- Fall 1964

Since heaven is a perfect place, it’ll be nice to be friends with my father, Hollie.  We weren’t friends in life.

I’d be able to forgive him for his hateful, homophobic, sexist, and racist attitudes, and his total disregard for anyone else’s feelings.  In heaven, we wouldn’t have to deal with his alcoholism and all of the times he aimed guns at me and my mother and sister forcing us to hide outside until he passed out.  All would be forgotten.

In life, I was not sad when he died.  I was only saddened because of my mother’s broken heart.  Whatever good she saw in him, maybe I’d be able to see in heaven.

The-Carpenters

Once I caught up with my cherished pets and my family, the first person I want to befriend in heaven is Karen Carpenter.

While chasing fame in life, Karen was obsessed with her weight and she starved herself to death.

In heaven, Karen would never have to hear the words anorexia nervosa and I wouldn’t know anything about bulimia, the eating disorder that I struggled with for nine years from 1986 through 1995.

In early 1995, I was down to 116 pounds and I thought I was fat.  While I’m not a practicing bulimic today, I’m still obsessed with weight gains and losses, eating too much, and fighting the urge to binge and purge.

On Earth, Karen had the voice of an angel.  In heaven, I would be blessed to have a front row seat to hear my new friend sing.

Until then, her music lives on.

And, since it’s Christmas time and that friendship and concert with Karen will have to wait, I can enjoy this classic.

John Lennon

I’d also like to meet John Lennon and just sit and listen to his wisdom of his words.  People on Earth would still be able to strive for the peace found in “Let It Be” and”Imagine”, my two favorite songs of all time.

I’d also want to hang out with Jessica Savitch and let her know that she inspired me go into television news.

Jessica

And, finally, in heaven, I’d be able to witness former President Ronald Reagan hanging out with the more than 650,000 Americans that have died of AIDS.  A majority of those have been gay men.

RonaldReagan

It took President Reagan almost six years after taking office to publicly mention AIDS for the first time.   In the spring of 1987, he called it “public enemy number one”.

From the summer of 1981 when “The New York Times” published an article about “gay cancer” to end of the year that Reagan first publicly mentioned AIDS, a reported 50-thousand-plus Americans were diagnosed with the disease and more than 40-thousand of them died!

I hated the man for decades for his ignorance in handling the AIDS crisis.

However, in heaven, all would be forgiven and I could see Ronald Reagan at a disco or a tea dance with all those that suffered during his presidency and all of those that succumbed to AIDS in the 25 years after he left office.

I can envision haters like Jesse Helms, Jerry Falwell, Anita Bryant (if she goes before me), and their close-minded friends on Earth partying with Harvey Milk, Matthew Shepard, Teena Brandon, and every other LGBT person that died at the hands of anti-gay violence brought on by bigotry and ignorance.

In heaven, we’re all God’s children like we should be on Earth.

In heaven, there’s only love.

I’m not ready to go to heaven just yet, but I sure would have so much fun catching up and living the life.

Anthony

Most Popular Blog Entries In My First Year — Part Two

How was your Saturday?  I hope it was great and that your Sunday is even better.

Tomorrow marks my blog’s one year anniversary.  I can’t believe I’ve been sharing my thoughts for a year now.  I’ve really enjoyed having the avenue to write.  Yesterday, I featured my most viewed blog entries over the past year from #20 to #11.  Today, it’s my ten most popular blogs since I started it on January 7, 2012.

#10 MOVIE

Charlie Brown, We Found Your Grown-Up Christmas Tree

Posted:  November 29, 2012

Views:  1,578

9 CD

Drugs Are Bad — “Just Say No” To Molly & Tina

Posted:  March 27, 2012

Views:  1,591

#8 CD

Dreams, They Can Come True

Posted:  April 22, 2012

Views:  1,617

#7 CD

Does The Erie School District (Illinois) Need A Stronger Anti-Bullying Approach?

Posted:  May 22, 2012

Views:  1,860

#6 CD

When One Door Closes, Another One Opens

Posted:  November 1, 2012

Views:  2,045

#5 CD

Hats Off To Jason Mraz’s Love of Equality

Posted:  April 9, 2012

Views:  2,232

#4 CD

“Magic Mike” — The Real Deal or A Cheap Thrill

Posted:  June 30, 2012

Views:  3,309

#3 CD

Will John Travolta Finally Be Forced Out of the Closet?

Posted:  May 9, 2012

Views:  5,221

#2 CD

Do We Really Need To Tell Adele She’s “Too Fat”?

Posted:  February 12, 2012

Views:  6,018

#1 CD

Super Bowl Bet: 50 Cent, I’ll Pay You A Dollar To Keep it To Yourself

Posted:  January 29, 2012

Views:  25,028

a few of my favorites

Those are my Top Ten viewed blogs since I started my blog January 7, 2012.

I have to admit that my favorites on this list are #2 “Do We Really Need To Tell Adele She’s “Too Fat”? about weight and my eating disorder, #6 “When One Door Closes, Another One Opens” about losing my job, and from yesterday’s countdown from #20 to #11, “ABBA:  My Best Friend” at #15, “Marriage Expert Bristol Palin Weighs In On Marriage Equality” at #16, “Marriage Equality:  Is It Simply Black & White” at #17, “Have Your Reception Here Unless You’re Gay” at #19 (which was featured on the Facebook page of “Instinct”, a leading gay magazine), and “President Reagan, I No Longer Hate You” at #20.

Here’s yesterday’s recap of #20 to #11.

Most Popular Blog Entries In My First Year — Part One

Throughout 2013, on the one year anniversary of some of my favorite 2012 blogs, I’ll highlight them again.  There are some that didn’t make the year-end recap that I’m proud of and want to share again, in case you missed them.

Have a great weekend.

Anthony

They Said What??? Kelly Osborne, Katie Couric, Demi Lovato, Lady Gaga, Adele, & Kirstie Alley “Weigh” In

KELLY OSBORNE
(about Lady Gaga):  “I think she’s pregnant because she’s been covering up this part of her body recently and I have been noticing that a lot.  And her style has changed. You can’t bleach your hair when you are pregnant.”
LADY GAGA
(responding to pregnancy rumors):  “I love eating pasta and pizza.  I’m a New York Italian girl. That’s why I have been staying out of New York. My father opened a restaurant. It’s so amazing. It’s so freaking delicious, but I’m telling you I gain five pounds every time I go in. So my dad wants me to eat there and I’m, like, I’ve got to go where I can drink green juice.”
ACTRESS KIRSTIE ALLEY
(on Lady Gaga’s weight gain):  “I say more power to her.  She is such a role model for millions of girls in the world and she should be whatever weight she wants to be and nobody should have to starve themselves.”
TALK SHOW HOST KATIE COURIC
“I wrestled with bulimia all through college and for two years after that.  And I know this rigidity, this feeling that if you eat one thing that’s wrong, you’re full of self-loathing.”
SINGER & “THE X-FACTOR CO-HOST” DEMI LOVATO
(talking her battles with bulimia): “When I was younger, stick-figure thin was in and nobody was talking about eating disorders.  I want girls to know that it’s OK when they grow up and their body changes. I want them to be aware that certain things they might do to lose weight can be dangerous—life-threatening, even.”
ADELE
(speaking about Madonna, Lady Gaga, and Rihanna):  “They don’t look how they do in magazines or videos. I have seen them up close.  Exploiting yourself sexually is not a good look. I don’t find it encouraging.  I have never seen magazine covers and music videos and thought, ‘I need to look like that to be a success.’  To sell more records I don’t need to go that. I just stand there and sing. I’m not worried that I’m a ‘plus size’ and so much bigger than other artists. No matter what you look like the key is to be happy with yourself.”
Anthony

You Need To Shut Your “Fat” Mouth

It’s no surprise in this country that we have young girls and boys starving themselves or sticking their fingers or other objects down their throats to make themselves throw up their dinner to maintain some unrealistic body image or keep from being called “fat”.

I’ve been very open in the past about my nine-year battle with bulimia from 1986-1995.  Honestly, I’ll always have an eating disorder and although I’m not a practicing bulimic, it’s something that I think about every day.  I blogged about this back in February when fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld made a comment that singer Adele was “too fat”.  You can find that link at the bottom of this blog.

Yes, Adele is definitely a full-figured woman, but the name calling has to stop.

Guess who the latest “fat” celebrity is?  Guess who’s getting plenty of press now and it’s not for her new music or her recently announced North American tour dates?

Lady GaGa on stage at the KOKO club in LondonLady Gaga 1

It’s Lady Gaga and all of the publicity is because of her weight gain.  Those are pictures from her past tours.  Here is a picture of Lady Gaga last week.

Lady Gaga is an Animal in Paris [USA ONLY]

And, Mother Monster posted this one on her Facebook page this week.

How many women and men across this increasingly obese country of ours would love to be this “fat”?

In the past, Gaga admitted that she’s battled anorexia and bulimia since she was 15 years old.  And, she’s not denying that she’s gained weight.

While dispelling rumors that she’s pregnant, she said, “I love eating pasta and pizza.  I’m a New York Italian girl. That’s why I have been staying out of New York. My father opened a restaurant. It’s so amazing. It’s so freaking delicious, but I’m telling you I gain five pounds every time I go in. So my dad wants me to eat there and I’m, like, I’ve got to go where I can drink green juice.”

And, on her Facebook page, Gaga posted this perfect quote by another legendary performer who also faced criticism because of her voluptuous figure.

GagaMarilyn

Lady Gaga may have indirectly addressed body image and how people talk in “Dance in the Dark” from her “The Fame Monster” album.  Here are some of the lyrics:  “Silicon, saline, poison inject me/Baby, I’m a free bitch” and “Some girls won’t dance to the beat of the tribe/She won’t walk away/But she won’t look back/She looks good/But her boyfriend says she’s a mess”.

As a father of an 11-year-old daughter that loves pasta and desserts, I’m going to do everything that I can to let her enjoy the foods that she loves.  At the same time, I’ll be monitoring her weight without bringing it front and center with her.  I don’t want her to deal with what Lady Gaga and many others have to deal with.  People can be cruel.

I remember coming back home from college, in the mid-1980s, and having a friend of my mother’s make a comment about the amount of weight that I had gained after my first two years at college.  Yes, the “freshman 15” and “sophomore 15” caught up with me and I did have a little bit of stomach from the daily endless cafeteria buffet at Murray State.

Those words, regardless of whether it was meant as a light-hearted comment or not, weighed heavily on my mind and, in part, led to my eating disorder.

Karen

Back in 1983, the death of legendary singer Karen Carpenter from a heart attack brought on by anorexia nervosa, raised awareness for eating disorders and propelled it into the nation’s spotlight.  She began dieting in the 1960s when she weighed about 145 pounds.  By the fall of 1975, she was down to 91 pounds!

Prior to her death, after a two-week stay in New York, the singer had gained 30 pounds and was eating healthy.  However, the disease had already taken its toll on her body and she died on February 3, 1983.

karen carpenterpeople

We should be remembering Karen Carpenter only by her beautiful voice and not the ugly desire to be thin that killed her.  I want us all to be healthier.  Being a little thin or a little thick is fine.  However, being pencil thin or obese is not good.

The bottom line is that when we speak of someone’s weight, we should be tactful about it.  There’s a person with feelings behind that body, regardless of what size it is.

Here is the link to my February 12, 2012 blog about Adele being “too fat”:  https://anthonypeoples.wordpress.com/2012/02/12/do-we-really-need-to-tell-adele-shes-too-fat/

And, since we’re talking about our eating habits, you might find my March 3, 2012 blog informative:  https://anthonypeoples.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/our-eating-habits-are-killing-us/

Anthony

P.S.  While I was writing this, I considered adding a very inspirational song for me from the early-1990s.  It’s from a stunningly gorgeous and very slim woman that I had the pleasure of meeting in 1996.  I’m adding Faith Hill’s “Take Me As I Am” because this song gave me hope almost 20 years ago that, one day, I would find an amazing man that would “Take Me As I Am”.  And, I did.  Faith, thank you for this song.