Posts Tagged ‘lesbian’

We All Deserve An Elio Moment

While my thoughts today are inspired by the Oscar-nominated motion picture, “Call Me By Your Name”, it’s not a review of the movie.

About that, I’ve written that the movie “is stunning, sensual, and heartbreaking” and 22-year-old Best Actor nominee Timothee Chalamet “deserves the Oscar nomination and I could definitely see him as a front-runner”.

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In “Call Me By Your Name”, it’s 1983 in northern Italy and Elio’s summer takes a tender turn when the 17-year-old meets and falls in love with a visiting 24-year-old American graduate student, Oliver, who’s there for six weeks working with his father.

It’s a friendship and romance that’s both approved and encouraged by Elio’s loving parents.  Remember, this is Italy and the ages the story presents are more acceptable in Europe than it would be here in the United States — in the 1980s or today!

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I’ve always been an out gay man even when it wasn’t popular as a high school and college student in small town Kentucky in Ronald Reagan’s conservative, “Christian Right” America.

Anthony1982

For teenagers today, it’s much different than it was in the early-1980s navigating between being gay and living an open honest life when America and the world didn’t want us to be out of the closet.

My mother knew I was gay, but she still couldn’t always hide her concern with how life would be for me or with some of my decision making.

I remember one summer weekend before I started my sophomore year of college.  We lived about 25 miles from my university and an older college student, who lived near campus, invited me there for the night.   My mother was more concerned that I was spending the night with a guy than the fact that I might be taking part in underage drinking.

That first year of college living away from the watchful eyes of my parents was exciting for me as a teenager.

Decades later, I still fondly remember the butterflies I felt staring across the college dorm television room and locking eyes with the mustachioed student that came over and started talking to me.  And, still vivid are the memories of meeting and spending the night with the divorced dad in my neighborhood that was ten years older than me when I was 19.

Those three encounters happened in a one-year time span.

While I’ve gone on to fulfilling and loving relationships in my adult life, they could never compete with the excitement and the loss of innocence for a naive kid experiencing the physical sensations of becoming a young man.

CMBYN 3

Watching innocent teenager Elio in “Call Me By Your Name”, in 2018, brought back the rush I felt on those exciting nights in 1983 and 1984.  Now, as an older man, I felt a sense of happiness that those nights were definitely worth it.

Luckily, for all of us, things are changing.

In the age of social media, which pretty much covers the last decade of my career as a television meteorologist, and with my personal blog, my “private” life is played out in public.

That’s given me a forum to educate people on what it’s like to be part of the LGBT community.   It shows people that we’re just like them — we work, we pay taxes, we cook dinner, we watch Netflix and movies, and so on.

It’s been very rewarding having mothers, grandmothers, and aunts reach out to me about how to handle their child or loved one’s “coming out” or being gay.

It’s better now because of the resources available online and in person for LGBT youth (and adults) questioning their sexuality or for parents and friends needing answers with PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).

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While acceptance is higher these days, there’s also the backlash that comes with that increased visibility.

The same freedom, strides, and public acceptance that LGBT people fought for and earned (some with their lives) are being stripped away with that hateful man sitting in the White House.

The venom Donald Trump spouted in the 2016 presidential campaign and in his first year in office has given some of his followers, that already had poisoned minds, the power to openly attack (verbally and physically) others based on their sexuality (real or perceived), race, religion, gender, and the list goes on.

Sadly, our transgender friends are the ones feeling the brunt of that hate.

I know that most of the people that read what I write access it through Facebook.  And, according the site’s analytics, 72% of my Facebook followers are women and the ones that correspond and comment the most are straight.

While I want this to touch them, I really hope that this moves beyond my usual circle of readers because they are the ones that need to see it more.  We all know someone that is LGBT and it’s likely that some of them may be questioning their life and future.

In today’s political climate, this is the perfect time for “Call Me By Your Name”.

CM poster

I hope that any scared, alone, or questioning teenager or adult from any small town in America — whether it’s the backwoods of Alabama and Mississippi, the “Bible Belt” South, the wilderness of the Mountainous West, or the barren tundra of Alaska — can see “Call Me By Your Name” and know that it’s okay to have their own Elio moment, they’re not sick, and they deserve to find love and happiness!

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Anthony

P.S.  Now that you finished my thoughts, I’m sharing the Oscar-nominated song from “Call Me By Your Name”, “Mystery of Love” by Sufjan Stevens.

Also, here are three inspiring songs that got me through those days and nights in the 1980s.

“Never Surrender” — Corey Hart

“People are People” — Depeche Mode

“I Want Your Sex” — George Michael  (Even in this risque song, George was singing about wanting to be “out and proud”!)

“There’s things that you guess/And things that you know/
There’s boys you can trust/And girls that you don’t/
There’s little things you hide/And little things that you show”

 

 

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Random Friday Thoughts — January 19, 2018

I hope you’ve had a good week.

I appreciate those of you that have taken the time to read my three blogs I’ve shared in 2018.  I’ve expressed many times that I love writing and it’s like therapy for me — it gives me an avenue vent about things and share thoughts.

So, as long as a certain number of people click on and read my blogs (yes, I get the stats and I have a threshold I want to reach), I’ll keep sharing.

Have a great weekend and read on…

 

2018 RFT

F.B.I. THOUGHTS

Thanks to James Comey and many failures on behalf of the F.B.I. (Federal Bureau of Investigations), these days I’m only liking fictional FBI agents like Fox Mulder and Dana Scully…

Gillian David The X-Files

Clarice Starling…

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and Holden Ford on Netflix’s “Mindhunter”, played the adorable and sexy Jonathan Groff!

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GOVERNMENT, OBSTRUCTIONISTS, AND CULTS

I believe that the U.S. government, for all the good it does for the American people, is corrupt and harbors many secrets — secrets that started way before Roswell and Area 51.

It also scares me when groups of people, in the name of God and religion, put their faith in people claiming to be prophets that speak for the Lord.

Yes, those two meet in this thought today.

Recently, I watched the excellent recent ABC special, “Truth and Lies: Waco” about the early 1993, 51-day standoff between Branch Davidians cult leader David Koresh and the FBI and the ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives).

Koresh

It all started on February 28, 1993, when the U.S. government stormed the compound.  On that day, 4 government agents and 6 Branch Davidians died.

Talks between Koresh (who told negotiators that his last name meant “death”) and hostage negotiators went on for weeks.

And, then after 51 days, on April 19, 1993, the government told Koresh that they were not going to fire weapons on the compound, but they were going to flood the buildings with tear gas.

On that windy day, a fire almost certainly started by Koresh (which is disputed), quickly spread killing a total of 76 Branch Davidians, including the cult leader.

Waco fire

The bottom line is that the Waco siege was a complete failure by the U.S. Government, under the watch of Attorney General Janet Reno and President Bill Clinton.

But, when you have a doomsday cult preparing for the end of the world with a stockpile of weapons and a leader with a propensity for child molestation and many wives, you have to draw the line somewhere.

One person who saw the government as the evil villain at Waco was Timothy McVeigh.

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Two years to the day of the Branch Davidian fire, he blew up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City killing 168 people and hurting more than 600 others.

He’s definitely not alone.  I spent almost a year in Lubbock, Texas, in the late-1990s, and I remember covering a meeting at a local restaurant. It was an anti-government group that wanted Texas to secede from the United States. The story never made air.

RELIOUS CULTS

While I pray every night and I have since I was a child, I don’t believe in organized religion.

With that being said, I sure as hell cannot wrap my head around people giving up their lives and their freedom to follow cult leader like Koresh and Jim Jones.

In November 1978, Jones convinced over 900 followers in his Peoples Temple (many were American and 304 were children) to kill themselves in a mass murder-suicide by drinking poisoned Grape Kool-Aid in Jonestown, Guyana.

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Ironically, early on in my time in Lubbock, I also covered the local angle of the “Heaven’s Gate” cult.

On March 26, 1997, police in California found the bodies of 39 cult members that had killed themselves thinking they were going to reach an extraterrestrial spaceship following Comet Hale-Bop!

FAKE NEWS?  IT’S FROM THE AP!

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OPRAH FOR PRESIDENT

As much as I like Oprah Winfrey and as much as I dislike “that man”, a 2020 presidential run for the former media mogul and news anchor is not something I’m behind.

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(*Oh Lord, did I have to say the word “behind”, it made me think of the picture posted above!*)

Could she do the job much better than the <insert your own term here> in the White House now?  Without a doubt and with much more integrity and with much less effort.

However, politics is such a farce now that I wouldn’t want her to get into that fray!

“9-1-1”

The dynamic producing-directing-writing team of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk is back with a new hit, “9-1-1”, and it’s incredible.

As you likely know, they’re behind the critical hits, “Nip/Tuck”, “Glee”, “American Horror Story”, and “American Crime Story”, and the one miss, “Scream Queens”.

When I first saw the trailers for “9-1-1”, now on its third episode on Fox, it looked promising.

However, I thought it’d be very easy for all the calls that Los Angeles first responders (9-1-1 operators, cops, firefighters, and paramedics) navigate to become tiresome very quickly.

The reason that didn’t happen is that while the show does show how each situation is handled, the calls (and tragedies) are not drawn out for the entire hour!

The show focuses on the personal lives of those putting their lives on the line (mentally and physically).

Connie Britton is Abby, the 9-1-1 operator, Peter Krause is a fire department Captain, and Angela Bassett is a tough as nails patrol Sargent.

Earlier this week, Fox renewed “9-1-1” for a second season — after just airing two episodes!

And, while I think Krause is SAF, the entire cast is hot!

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NBC’s “The Brave”, you have sexy competition!

For God &amp; Country - Season Pilot

“BATTLE OF THE SEXES”

When watching movies like Kathryn Bigelow’s “Detroit”, my #4 movie of 2017, about police brutality by white cops toward the black community and “Battle of the Sexes”, about sexism and unequal pay between men and women in the same profession, I’m glad those things from the 1960s and 1970s don’t exist today!

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Oscar winner Emma Stone and Academy Award nominee Steve Carrell star as tennis legends Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs in this drama about the 1973 televised tennis match between the sexes.

Tennis is played in the movie and, of course, we see that infamous match play out on ABC.  However, the movie is more about King and her relationship with her husband and her hairdresser and Riggs and his family and his gambling problem.

It also handles sexism and pay inequality well, along with Australian champion Margaret Court’s blatant homophobic attitude toward King in the 1970s.  Well, as an old coot down under today, that hate is still very much alive since she says “tennis is full of lesbians”!

GRADE:  A-

EMMA STONE AND BILLIE JEAN KINGbillie

In “Out” magazine in August 2017, Stone talked about where King and women were in the 1970s and where we are today “with a narcissistic, self-focused, constantly-stirring-the-pot kind of guy — again this incredible, qualified woman, and at the same time be playing Billie Jean King…”

Stone adds, “Obviously the way this has all panned out has been fascinating and horrifying, and it still feels like we’re in a bad dream, but those parallels make sense to me — the equal-pay issue makes a lot of sense to me.  At our best right now we’re making 80 cents to the dollar.”

“PHILADELPHIA FREEDOM”

“Philadelphia Freedom” became Elton John’s  11th Top Ten hit and fourth #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1975.

While it’s not a “tennis” song, its title honors Elton’s friend Billie Jean King and her tennis team, the “Philadelphia Freedoms”.

PICK HIT

My future ex-boyfriend (I hope Anna doesn’t mind), Enrique Iglesias is back with new music.

I like the song and he still looks amazing.

I can’t wait for the follow-up to “Sex+Love”, my #1 album of 2014.

By the way, I saw Enrique in concert and he was incredible.

2020 DEMOCRATIC TICKET

Since a potential Oprah run for the White House is making its round in the 24-hour news cycle, I’m throwing this out.

While it won’t happen, they have a year to make nice and find common ground.

Here is the ticket I’d like to see to take on the 2020 Republican nominee for president.

DEM 2016 Debate

I don’t care which one leads the ticket!

THAT’S IT

With all the craziness in the world, make it the best in your little part of it!

Anthony

Thank You “The Advocate” For My Advocacy

Every week, I share my “Random Friday Thoughts”.  I’m always thinking about something and writing gives me an avenue to express myself.  It’s rewarding when those thoughts prompt others to think about topics they normally wouldn’t consider and a dialogue is started.

I love to be provoked to think, too.  We should all be challenged to pontificate about life and what we can do to make ours better and the lives better for those around us.  Today, my thoughts focus on a special milestone.

Advocate

The largest and oldest LGBT magazine in the United States, “The Advocate”, is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year.

Happy Birthday and thank you for leading the fight!

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We’ve made so many advancements in the past five decades, but our work is just beginning.

I want to thank “The Advocate” for pushing two key phrases now as we navigate through the next 1,295 days (Inauguration Day 2021):  “Stay Woke” and “Resistance”!

We need this encouragement now more than ever.

“The Advocate” started as a local Los Angeles newsletter in 1967 and while many LGBT magazines copied its model, most have come and gone.

My first recollection of “The Advocate” was in the early-1990s when I was living in small town Kentucky reading about the anti-gay and racist business practices of the Cracker Barrel restaurant chain. While still a southern staple, it’s expanded across the country, but I’ve never eaten at one and I never will.

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“The Advocate” has covered all of the issues we’ve face in the LGBT community starting with police harassment at the Black Cat Tavern in Los Angeles and the Stonewall Inn riots in New York City in the 1960s.

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That harassment was a tipping point.  We’d had enough and it was time to fight back.  That fight was the catalyst for the modern gay rights movement and the Gay Pride parades that started in 1970.

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“The Advocate” was there for out politicians like Harvey Milk in the late-1970s and to out anti-gay politicians.

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Just as we were beginning to gain national exposure and make progress in showing the country and the world that we were someone’s brother, sister, son, daughter, neighbor, and friend, “The Advocate” was there to inform us in the summer of 1981 when “gay cancer” began killing off our friends in the community.

That cancer became GRID and then AIDS in the 1980s.

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“The Advocate” was there to hold President Ronald Reagan responsible for not saying AIDS publicly until 1987 after more than 16,000 people had already died.

And, “The Advocate” was there as we fought for our rights and for equality — marriage equality, transgender equality, and women’s rights.

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“The Advocate” was there through it all and its insight prompted me to move to Chicago in 1994 and become the person I am today.

A person that’s proud to be an out gay man that’ll continue to work to educate people about acceptance and equality.

I wish the new editorial director, Diane Anderson-Minshal, the very best as she takes the magazine forward in the fight for the next 50 years.  (Also, a thank you to the former editorial director, Matthew Breen, who now works in the same capacity at LogoTV.)

SEXUAL RACISM

I mentioned that I like to be pushed to think, too.

Sexual racism is a term that’s gaining traction across the country, but many people are not familiar with it.

It’s basically when a person of one race idolizes or fantasizes about a person of another race to the point of objectification.  It’s seen as power — one race being superior to another.  The article that got me to thinking more about it was from a black writer exposing the obsession he saw toward his community by white men.

I’ve never been in a situation where a person of color pursued me for a relationship, but I’d be open to it.

It’s like the line in “Hidden Figures” when Janelle Monae’s Mary Jackson says, “It’s equal rights.  I have the right to see fine in every color”.  That’s how I feel.

When I see attractive people of color, I take notice.  But, I don’t set out to look for this or that.  I’m not ordering from a takeout menu and this particular flavor sounds especially good today.  I see people as people.

Bill T Jones

Bill T. Jones is a man that I truly admire for all that he’s done for the gay community over his long life.  And, from what I’ve read, it doesn’t appear that he has a hang up with “sexual racism”.

Jones, who’s black and who modeled naked for the late renowned (white) artist, Keith Haring, in the early-1980s, doesn’t mince words about how he feels.

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Jones told “The Advocate” about his former lover and partner Arnie Zane (the couple were together for almost twenty years until Zane died in Jones’ arms in 1988),  “I wanted to find, and I did find, a person like Arnie Zane — Jewish, aesthetic, neurotic, poetic, and fierce — and already dealing with being an androgynous man who was a white man who would be public about actually loving a black man, and it wasn’t some sort of a kink.  He was able to love me.” 

Jones went on to say about the 1970s gay clubs days, “… we can see race is very much with us.  Race has not left.”  And, he adds, “So the gay identity was white, middle class.  God knows, I love them  – or I loved – those white boys.

So, with that, I’m still learning from “The Advocate” and like President Barack Obama evolved with his views on marriage equality, I’m still evolving, too.

Bisexual

Bisexuality comes to mind when I think of myself evolving.

With the acronym LGBT, I never bought into the “B” for bisexual.  I always thought bisexuals were gay people afraid to admit it because of family, religion, or the fear of homophobia.

You often hear certain celebrities come out as “bisexual”, but I’ve never had a friend tell me they’re “bi”.

However, looking back to my early years in the gay community, I recall a friend that was lesbian that went on to marry a man and have children and another woman that was married to a man, but also took on a lesbian lover with her husband’s knowledge.

So, I’ve evolved to believe that there are true “bisexuals”.

I’m looking forward to learning more from “The Advocate” as the LGBT community advances proudly through the next 50 years.

Again, congratulations and happy anniversary to “The Advocate”.

Anthony